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If a mother describes her children as ‘children’ and you then ask ‘how old are your kids?’ what is the impact?
Answer: you have ‘corrected her’ unconsciously, because you have used your preferred word, not hers – rapport has been broken, you are no longer ‘like each other’.
The specific words that we use depends on our representational system. Language expresses the way that we interpret the world. If we recognise the words that people use we can gain some insight in to how they make sense of their world. By communicating back to them using words from there primary sense will help us to build a stronger connection with them and build better rapport.
By reviewing the tables below , you will gain more insight and get a better idea about the preferred words used by each style. By actively listening to others you can try and find out their preferred representational system from the kind of words they use and then use the same words while communicating with them in order to build better rapport and communicate with them more effectively.
Read the words in each of the 3 styles the auditory, kinaesthetic and visual and think of the people around you whom you communicate with on regular basis, your family members , friends, colleagues at work and even your boss at work. Can you guess their preferred representational system? which set of words (or similar words) do they normally use in conversation?
Representational System Phrases - Visual
|An eyeful||Appears to me||Beyond a shadow of a doubt|
|Bird’s eye view||Catch a glimpse||Clear-cut|
|Dim view||Eye to eye||Flashed on|
|Get perspective||Get a scope on||Hazy idea|
|High view||In light of||In person|
|In view of||Looks like||Make a scene|
|Mental image||Mental picture||Mind’s eye|
|Naked eye||Paint a picture||Photographic memory|
|Plainly see||Pretty as a picture||See to it|
|Short-sighted||Showing off||Sight for sore eyes|
|Staring off in space||Take a peek||Tunnel vision|
|Under your nose||Up front||Well-defined|
Representational System Phrases - Auditory
|After-thought||Blabber-mouth||Clear as a bell|
|Clearly expressed||Call on||Describe in detail|
|Earful||Express yourself||Give an account of|
|Give me your ear||Grant an audience||Heard voices|
|Hold your tongue||Idle talk||Inquire into|
|Keynote speaker||Loud and clear||Manner of speaking|
|Pay attention to||Power of speech||Purrs like a kitten|
|Outspoken||Rap session||Rings a bell|
|State your purpose||Tattle-tale||To tell the truth|
|Tongue-tied||Tuned in||Unheard of|
|Utterly||Voiced an opinion||Well-informed|
|Within hearing range||Word for word|
Representational System Phrases - Kinesthetic
|All washed up||Boils down to||Chip off the old block|
|Come to grips with||Control yourself||Cool/calm/collected|
|Firm foundation||Floating on air||Get a handle on|
|Get a load of this||Get in touch with||Get the drift of|
|Get your goat||Hand-in-Hand||Hang in there!|
|Heated argument||Hold it!||Hold on!|
|Hot-head||Keep your shirt on!||Know-how|
|Lay cards on table||Light-headed||Moment of panic|
|Not following you||Pull some strings||Sharp as a tack|
|Slipped my mind||smooth operator||So-so|
|Start from scratch||Stiff upper lip||Stuffed shirt|
|Too much a hassle||Topsy-turvy||Underhanded|
Representational System Phrases - Auditory Digital
|Consider the options||Come to realise||Analyse the situation|
|Weigh the facts||Pros and cons||Plan ahead|
|Discover||Draw the options||Be thorough|
|Draw upon||Be systematic||Be conscious|
|Experience||Understand||Think about it|
|Process it||Become aware||Conceive it|
|That’s clear||Make sense of||Change it|
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