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If a mother describes her children as ‘children’ and you then ask ‘how old are your kids?’ what is the impact?
Answer: you have ‘corrected her’ unconsciously, because you have used your preferred word, not hers – rapport has been broken, you are no longer ‘like each other’.

The specific words that we use depends on our representational system. Language expresses the way that we interpret the world. If we recognise the words that people use we can gain some insight in to how they make sense of their world. By communicating back to them using words from there primary sense will help us to build a stronger connection with them and build better rapport.

By reviewing the tables below , you will gain more insight and get a better idea about the preferred words used by each style. By actively listening to others you can try and find out their preferred representational system from the kind of words they use and then use the same words while communicating with them in order to build better rapport and communicate with them more effectively.

Read the words in each of the 3 styles the auditory, kinaesthetic and visual and think of the people around you whom you communicate with on regular basis, your family members , friends, colleagues at work and even your boss at work. Can you guess their preferred representational system? which set of words (or similar words) do they normally use in conversation?


Representational System Phrases - Visual

An eyeful Appears to me Beyond a shadow of a doubt
Bird’s eye view Catch a glimpse Clear-cut
Dim view Eye to eye Flashed on
Get perspective Get a scope on Hazy idea
High view In light of In person
In view of Looks like Make a scene
Mental image Mental picture Mind’s eye
Naked eye Paint a picture Photographic memory
Plainly see Pretty as a picture See to it
Short-sighted Showing off Sight for sore eyes
Staring off in space Take a peek Tunnel vision
Under your nose Up front Well-defined

Representational System Phrases - Auditory

After-thought Blabber-mouth Clear as a bell
Clearly expressed Call on Describe in detail
Earful Express yourself Give an account of
Give me your ear Grant an audience Heard voices
Hold your tongue Idle talk Inquire into
Keynote speaker Loud and clear Manner of speaking
Pay attention to Power of speech Purrs like a kitten
Outspoken Rap session Rings a bell
State your purpose Tattle-tale To tell the truth
Tongue-tied Tuned in Unheard of
Utterly Voiced an opinion Well-informed
Within hearing range Word for word  

Representational System Phrases - Kinesthetic

All washed up Boils down to Chip off the old block
Come to grips with Control yourself Cool/calm/collected
Firm foundation Floating on air Get a handle on
Get a load of this Get in touch with Get the drift of
Get your goat Hand-in-Hand Hang in there!
Heated argument Hold it! Hold on!
Hot-head Keep your shirt on! Know-how
Lay cards on table Light-headed Moment of panic
Not following you Pull some strings Sharp as a tack
Slipped my mind smooth operator So-so
Start from scratch Stiff upper lip Stuffed shirt
Too much a hassle Topsy-turvy Underhanded

 Representational System Phrases - Auditory Digital

Consider the options Come to realise Analyse the situation
Weigh the facts Pros and cons Plan ahead
Discover Draw the options Be thorough
Draw upon Be systematic Be conscious
Experience Understand Think about it
Process it Become aware Conceive it
That’s clear Make sense of Change it

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