What not to say while resolving conflct
1- Use “I-Messages”
The language you use while resolving conflict has a great impact on the outcome. It can actually either make or break the resolution process, after all it's not actually what you say it's how you say it and one of the major things you need to be aware of when sharing your perspective is to describe your own experience and how you perceive the situation and the best way to do this is to send " I-messages". Talking about hurt feelings when you deliver your message by saying " I felt bad when none of my emails were answered" ..etc. The point in using "I Messages " is to make the other party understand your point of view and how you interpret the situation and not get defensive.
Avoid pointing fingers or use language that places blame or labels people, if you use this kind of language you will force the other party to get defensive and will start to attack you back to defend themselves or get back at you, generally when resolving a conflict situation or Giving Feedback you should stay away from language that includes : ✓ You always
✓ You never
✓ You should
✓ You didn’t
2- Be brief and clear
Keep your message short and sweet. Get right to the point. Repeating the same information multiple times doesn’t benefit anybody.
3- Be specific and avoid vague language
Be as clear and specific as you can be. Avoid language that can be interpreted differently by the parties, such as the following:
✓ As soon as possible
✓ If necessary
✓ Wherever appropriate
✓ When convenient
✓ More or less
Specificity provides answers, while vagueness creates questions . Be specific! Use language such as the following:
✓ By (date and time)
✓ No later than
✓ Completed on
✓ Via company e-mail
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