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Anger Management & Positive thinking

Practical Anger Management techniques
Managing anger successfully can make the difference between misery or happiness. if you're unable to manage your anger it can affect your life in many different ways.

Anger Anatomy 
We all recognise an angry face when we see one no matter where we are in the world, anger is one of those true universal emotions.

Channeling your anger
One of the most successful ways to manage anger is to channel it. which doesn't only give you a way to vent and let out your anger, but it can also help direct that anger into positive energy and something more productive.

Are you an optimist?
Two very interesting stories about being optimistic and how it's all up to you and how you look at things.

The facts all optimists learned to accept
6 Facts of life that can make you more optimistic if you accept them.

Mindswitch - Getting into the right state of mind
It’s Your Choice how to react  to every event in your life. SWITCH  creates a moment of choice between a stimulus and response, to a thought and Action.

5 steps to feeling better when you are feeling down
This article outlines five ways that can really help you be more optimistic, less stressed and adopt a more positive perspective in your life.

Achieving Excellence through positive thinking
To achieve excellence both in your personal and professional life, means you must have some important traits and characteristics, read this article to find out more.

Achieving Excellence means you must have :

Optimism is power. This is a secret that was discovered by all those who managed to succeed against great odds. Nelson Mandela, Ernest Shackleton, Eleanor Roosevelt—all admitted that what got them through tough times was an ability to focus on the positive. They understood what Claude Bristol called “the magic of believing.” Yet great leaders also have an unusual ability to face up to stark reality, so creating a single powerful attribute: tough-minded optimism.

Optimistic people tend to succeed not simply because they believe that everything will turn out right, but because the expectation of success makes them work harder. If you expect little, you will not be motivated even to try.

A definite aim, purpose, or vision
Success requires a concentration of effort. Most people disperse their energies over too many things and so fail to excell and be outstanding in anything.
In the words of Orison Swett Marden: “The world does not demand that you be a lawyer, minister, doctor, farmer, scientist, or merchant; it does not dictate what you shall do, but it does require that you be a master in whatever you undertake.” So to be successful, you must have higher aims and goals and relentlessly pursue their realization.

Willingness to work
Successful people are willing to engage in drudgery in the cause of something marvelous. The greater part of genius is the years of effort invested to solve a problem or find the perfect expression of an idea. With hard work you acquire knowledge about yourself that idleness never reveals.
A law of success is that, once first achieved, it can create a momentum that makes it easier to sustain. As the saying goes, “Nothing succeeds like success.”

Enduring success is built on discipline, an appreciation that you must give yourself orders and obey them. Like compound interest, this subject may be boring, but the results on the long term can be amazing. Great achievers know that while the universe is built by atoms, success is built by minutes after minutes; they are masters when it comes to their use of time.

An integrated mind
Successful people have a good relationship with their unconscious or subconscious mind. They trust their intuition, and because intuitions are usually right, they seem to enjoy more luck than others. They have discovered one of the great success secrets: When trusted to do so, the Non-rational mind solves problems and creates solutions.

Non-stop reading
Look into the habits of the successful and you will find that they are usually great readers. Many of the leaders and authors covered here in this article attribute the turning point in their lives to picking up a certain book. If you can read about the accomplishments of those you admire, you cannot help but lift your own sights. Anthony Robbins remarked that “success leaves clues,” and reading is one of the best means of absorbing such clues.

Curiosity and the capacity to learn are vital for achievement, thus the saying “leaders are readers.” The person who seeks growth, Dale Carnegie said, “must soak and tan his mind constantly in the vats of literature.”

Risk taking
The greater the risk, the greater the potential success. Nothing ventured,nothing gained. Be action oriented.

Realizing the power of expectation
Successful people expect the best and they generally get it, because expectations have a way of attracting to you their material equivalent.
Since your life corresponds pretty much to the expectations you have of it, the achiever will argue, why not think big instead of small?

Advanced beings can turn any situation to their advantage. They are “masters of their souls, captains of their fate.”

When other parties are involved, they will seek solutions in which gains are maximized for all. In the words of Catherine Ponder:

“You do not have to compromise in life, if you are willing to let go of the idea of compromise.”

Achievements will mean little if you lack the capacities to love, listen, and learn which are vital for our own well-being, and without them it is difficult to have the fulfilling relationships that we need to both renew us and inspire achievement.



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Your success in achieving anything you want or changing your mindset will depend on how persistent you are in planning your actions and carrying them out , learning from mistakes and how determined you are to keep going when all those around you highlight your failures.

Some lessons can be learned from the following Famous Failures .. For Persistence

Chester Carlson took four years and rejections from IBM, GE and RCA before the Haloid Company took his invention and renamed their company Xerox after it.

James Dyson took five years and 5,127 prototypes to invent the world’s first bag-less vacuum cleaner. Before he manufactured it he nearly became bankrupt, due to the worldwide patent fees. He is now probably Britain’s first billionaire inventor.

Thomas Edison had 7,000 failed attempts to design a latex rubber plant and 11,000 failed experiments before he invented the electric light bulb. When he died he had 1,052 patents in his name.

Walt Disney went to 312 banks before he secured backing for his cartoon animations. He was also bankrupt seven times.

Marconi’s friends had him institutionalised when he announced he could send messages through the air without the aid of wires or other physical means of communication.

Abraham Lincoln failed in business 1831 and :
● Ran for legislature and lost 1832
● Failed in business again 1834
● Sweetheart died 1835
● Had a nervous breakdown 1836
● Lost his second political race 1838
● Defeated for Congress 1843
● Defeated for Congress again 1846
● Defeated for Congress yet again 1848
● Defeated for U.S. Senate 1855
● Defeated for Vice President 1856
● Defeated for U.S. Senate 1858
Abraham Lincoln was elected the sixteenth President of America 1860


steps to feel better when feeling bad

This article outlines five ways that can  help you to be more optimistic , less stressed and adopt a more positive perspective in your life in general or towards specific unfortunate incidents or situations that face you on a day to day as part of life. these 5 ways below are just suggestions you may take whichever way you desire but the important thing is to do something about the way you feel, do not give up and always remember that the way you feel is always your choice.

First Step : 
Back To Childhood

Observations of children’s behavior highlight the keys to their development. What we seek when we are young are often the very things we deny ourselves when we get older:

Variety – fascinated by everything!
 Diversity – fascinated by everyone!
 Experimentation – play
 Idea development – creative outlets

 A child’s reaction to change is explicit. Adults experience similar feelings but we often hide them or leak out signals of our discomfort. Observe a child react to change and you see the following:

A  grown up’s reaction :
• Insecurity • Denial • Need for comfort • Acceptance

A child’s reaction contradicting the above:
• Excitement • Action • Parents – get out of the way! • My playground just got bigger!



Stress can occur when you let circumstances control you rather than you controlling
them. A certain amount of stress is beneficial: it gives us an edge, also with no stress we simply get bored. On the other hand, when stress becomes too much and  when we can no longer control  it, we can get burned out. It’s important to be able to differentiate between the two.

The danger signals come when you detect a downward spiral – when your behaviour
starts to change from that which is your personal norm. The person with positive mental
attitude is able to take a few simple steps to help regain self-control when they see the
signs of stress occurring.

Enjoying pressure Feeling stressed
Meeting deadlines Poor planning and self-organization
Making decisions Avoiding decisions or regularly making poor ones
Positive relationships Self-absorption
Balanced perspective Taking unrealistic or unreasonable standpoints
Controlled emotions Outbursts or unpredictable displays of emotion
Motivated Little interest in work or other activities

Dealing with Stress --  Regaining Control

• Take part in activities that take you psychologically away from the part of your life that causes you stress. Don’t always carry emotional baggage around – especially if it’s work-related baggage
•  Rebut unreasonable demands – say what you want, think, feel in a clear, concise, properly assertive manner, with respect for others
•  Identify what actions of your own can change the situation. If they can’t then you have to drop it. You can’t change what you can’t change!
•  Learn about yourself – how does stress manifest itself in you? Recognising the signals will help you regain control quicker
•  Don’t put off that which is causing you stress. It may seem easier, but you’re just storing up bigger problems for the future, including risk to your personal health.



 Do you get bored at work ?

Mentally disengaging from your work because you tell yourself the job is boring creates the reality you envisaged.

Drudgery Opportunity
Sterility Seek out variety
Avoid responsibility Use initiative
Keep my head down Express myself
Tell me what to do Take responsibility
Can't do it Can do anything


Step Four :  Be more Flexible

Reactions are robotic behaviours  - responses are considered conscious choices When you unconsciously react , you give your power away. When you consciously respond , you stay flexible and keep your power

Becoming More Flexible: an 8-Step Plan

1. Notice the things that 'push your buttons'.
2. Be aware of yourself beginning to react.
3. STOP and notice that you have other choices.
4. Decide on your desired outcome.
5. Choose the response most likely to produce this outcome.
6. Respond appropriately.
7. Pay attention to the feedback you get.
8. Modify - if necessary - your response until feedback indicates you have achieved the desired outcome - or as near as you can get to it.

Step Five :  Motivating yourself

We all want more pleasure and less pain. Motivation becomes action when the force of our desire to have, be or do something exceeds the force of inertia keeping us where we are. Our fears of failure - or even of success - also enter the equation on the side of inertia.

 Here is a quick activity that can help you put this step into practice , Use and fill out the below table :


Things i Enjoy doing Things i have to do but don't want much to do Ways i could enjoy completing these tasks



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Its all your Choice!

Beliefs are a matter of choice. It is not necessary to believe the following statements, but you may like to "try them on" to see how they could change your outlook on life:

• Everything happens for a reason.. Adversity contains the seeds of benefit. Seeds need attention and nurturing to grow.

• You can choose to accept responsibility for everything that happens to you and give yourself the power to take control of your life. Blaming other people means giving your power away.

• Health and happiness are natural states. A shortfall in either indicates an imbalance in your system. Learn to find your own point of balance.

• The mind and the body are part of the same system. If you change your mind, you change your body. If you change your body, you change your mind. So Exercise, you will feel great afterwards!

• The only constant in life is change. Learn to make it your ally, not your enemy. Embrace change.

 • If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten. If what you are doing is not getting you where you want to be, then do something different.

• What you focus on will increase in your life. Focus on problems and you will experience more problems. Focus on success, and you will experience more success.

• There is no such thing as failure: there is only feedback. Feedback comes to you via your senses, and tells you whether you are on-course, or off-course.

• All the resources you need - and all the answers - are already within you. Learn to listen to your inner adviser.

• Long term success requires commitment. Only you can make the decision to commit to your own success - and to decide what success means to you.

 Answering the following questions can also be very helpful :

  How can I most easily let go of the past?


 What must I do to create a happy and inspiring future ?


 What must I do to remember to let go of less-than-useful feelings?


 What else do I Need to do to develop these skills?


What is Mind SWITCH ?
It’s Your Choice how to react  to every event in your life. SWITCH  creates a moment of choice between a stimulus and response, to a thought and Action.

Instead of simply reacting to the annoying and frustrating things that people say and do ,  to be able to SWITCH keeps you in the present – In the NOW – So you can choose to react as a human being instead of a human animal

SWITCH takes you from the back seat of your life , to the driver seat

It’s about being in control of how to react to people and events ,no matter how painful or distressing it can be

It's the difference between living your life as a victim or as an enlightened human being.

It's not about changing the people or events in your life , it’s about you changing your reaction to them

It's about living your life from love instead of fear, from power instead of weakness, from acceptance instead of anger.  

Optimists – Dealing with Setbacks

When faced with setbacks optimists believe:

•  They can change the circumstances in which they failed so that they can succeed next time
•  Things can be better in the future
•  We can’t do anything about disappointment but we can choose how we interpret the disappointment
•  Defeat is part of the learning process
•  You might have been passed over for promotion, rejected for a job or lost a sale, but it doesn’t mean that you are not going to succeed next time
•  Failing at something doesn’t make you a failure
•  Succeeding at something, anything, makes you a success

Hard times will Come, No matter what you do you just can’t hide – So  what will you do about it? how will you react?

Hard times are Lessons
• Treat disappointment or failure as a learning experience. But it’s not good enough to say, ‘I’ll put it down to experience’. Identify what you have learnt from the experience. The next time you try something (or the same thing) the difference is going to be you, what you have learnt and your capacity for self-improvement.

• Set-backs in life can lead to overreaction. The small problem that created the difficult situation is amplified into an all-pervasive life issue, to the point where you can think of little else. See things as they really are, not as you imagine them to be. Put things in perspective.


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So WIIFM (What's in it for me ) to think positively and be optimistic ?

To Think Positively and be optimistic :  

• You will accept change easily
• You will be more sociable , people will love hanging around you. 
• You will live a longer happier life. 
• You become more resilient and flexible.
• You will achieve your long and short term goals if you really want them bad enough



Thinking positively expresses itself both internally and externally. As you strive to achieve, at work or elsewhere, you’ll begin to realise that as well as feeling positive about yourself, you need to have the same approach towards those around you. Your self-image often reflects itself in your attitude to others. Poor attitude not only tells the world what you think about yourself, but the signals ‘leak out’ that you’re not too bothered about the world either.

It’s important to care about the thoughts and feelings of others; you want them with you on the way up, and when things get a bit tough. We need the world and the people in it to give meaning and understanding to what we do. And to provide guidance, when we most need it.

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